Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Today’s Groupon for SassySweeper, LLC spares you the trouble of tripping over tiny trenches. Choose from the following options:
- $30 for one hour of cleaning (a $60 value)
- $60 for two hours of cleaning (a $120 value)
- $90 for three hours of cleaning (a $180 value)
SassySweeper employs an arsenal of professionally trained and bonded crewmembers, all of whom were handpicked by the owners and have passed national background checks. Wielding nothing but cleaning supplies and a bucket of passion, these expert cleaning people will pick up clutter, dust surfaces, vacuum carpeting, mop floors, trim overgrown lampshades, polish surfaces, and more. SassySweeper’s dependable, trustworthy staffers always maintain confidentiality and respect their clients’ privacy, even if that means ignoring piles of money or Pat Boone reclining on piles of money. You can buy up to 10 Groupons, but you can only use one per month.