In order to spin records, stuffed bears must graft dexterous human fingers atop their furry nubbins. Make glorious music that makes inanimate objects jealous with today's Groupon: for $87, you get a small-group introductory DJ course followed by one hour of practice time (a $175 value) at School of Remix on Dunlevy Street.
A host of professional DJs armed with a suite of sound-shaping implements staff School of Remix, a mixing and scratching academy where fledgling DJs earn their wings. Turn fertile brainwaves into tuneful soundwaves with the aid of an hour-long introductory course in DJing, where knowing soundsmiths illustrate the principles of beat-matching, simple mixing concepts, proper use of equipment, and techniques to induce crowds to pump fists at the ceiling rather than your face. Professional DJs from Vancouver's club scene lead School of Remix's one-on-one sessions, where their encouragement and individual guidance sets neophytes on the path to party demigod-hood.
Students can use their home compu-portals to view the School of Remix studios, where they may someday raise lost beats from the grave and commune with the ghosts of mixes past. School of Remix also employs one of the only living humans certified to teach Ableton music software in Western Canada, who passes on his knowledge only to those who prove their valour in singles tennis.