Segways are the wave of the future, but buying a new one can cost anywhere from $5,600 to more than $10,000. Most people would prefer spending that money on common everyday expenses such as the NBA’s luxury tax, public grooming fees, and Charleston Chews. With today’s Groupon to Boston Gliders Segway Adventures, you can save money for life’s necessities while getting a taste of the future on one of three Segway tours:

• Waterfront Tour: Fill your lungs with sea air while touring the waterfront and visiting the Freedom Trail, the Harbor Walk, Boston Common, the State House, Quincy Market, and the Old Meeting House, which was built directly on top of Old Faithful.
• Cambridge, MA Tour: Get healthy doses of some of Boston’s most renowned squares: Kendall Square, Harvard Square, Central Square, and Porter Square.
• X2 Extreme Tour: Take a ride on a suped-up, off-road-ready Segway. Conquer any New England obstacle, including fire hydrants, firemen, and fire trucks.

This Groupon is an exhilarating way to show off Boston to out-of-town guests or to strap on a helmet and play tourist for the day. Segways naturally travel in flocks of six, so round up a six-pack of friends and hit New England in a sinister Segway posse. And don’t worry about bringing a digital camera, Boston Gliders Segway Adventures takes all the shots to preserve the experience (40 to 60 photos on a DVD included in today’s Groupon (a $20 value)).

Reviews

Boston Gliders Segway Adventures is one of TripAdvisor’s Top Things To Do in Boston (#2 this week). More than 40 reviewers on TripAdvisor dole out a near-perfect 4.5 owl eyes: > * We saw more in the couple hours on the gliders than we ever would have by just trying to see the city ourselves. Anyone visiting Boston should definitely make this part of their trip! – MissAliBaba > * My wife and I had a great time riding segways for the first time in Boston. The prep video can make you nervous, but the ride was fantastic. The machine becomes part of you in just a few minutes. – jwgrenning > * We saw more in 2 hours than we have seen in the past 20 years! The only way to get around the city and see the sights – and have a blast in the process! – griz317

Segway-Criminals

Hell-raising gangs of motorcycle-riding criminals have given way to an even more dangerous threat: Segway-criminals. While the top speed of a standing criminal is 0 mph, Segway-criminals can reach an astonishing 8 mph alone or 48 mph if tethered to a car that’s driving 48 mph. Their speed makes them impossible to catch or outrun, and their silent operation confuses police sonar.

It’s natural to fear Segway-criminals, but the best defense—detonating an electro-magnetic pulse bomb—is prohibitively expensive. Fight fire with fire that burns even hotter than normal fire by mastering the Segway on Boston Gliders adventure. Next time you encounter a rowdy gang of Segway-criminals, you’ll be able to avoid their attacks by using classic evasion techniques like the Segway Shuffle, Two Segways Forward One Segway Back, and the Dip, Dive, Shimmy-Shimmy, and Dip.