Unlike jetpacks, Segways are not prone to bird collisions or backside burns, helping them become the official ride of the 23rd century. Practice a sweet ride on a leisurely chariot of fire with today's Groupon: for $15, you get an instructional Segway clinic from Segway of Edmonton (a $29.99 value).

The seasoned guides at Segway of Edmonton shepherd new cruisers on scenic introductory journeys during safe, informative clinics. Each 30-minute workshop ($29.99) kicks off daily in Louise McKinney Park at 8:30 a.m. with an in-depth itinerary that waxes on the riding necessities of balance, form, emergency stopping, hill traversal, and out-rolling roaming bands of dachshunds. Clinics equip riders with their own two-wheeled, eco-friendly steed, a helmet, and a safe nook to store personal belongings in, though students should bring their own water, sunscreen, and comfortable shoes. During the lessons, tours pause for photo ops to capture the novelty of vertical wandering and for frame-by-frame instant replays of remarkable in-motion slam dunks.