When humanoid robots attempt to systematically eliminate mankind, real humans will have an 8-mile-per-hour head start on their Segways. Today's Groupon puts you at the front of the pack: for $39, you get a twilight tour with Segway of Tempe and Scottsdale. Tours depart from Hayden Ferry Lakeside and JW Marriott Desert Ridge at 6:30 p.m. daily.
Glide effortlessly across Tempe or Scottsdale's majestic terrain on a narrated tour of cultural sites and natural beauty, including Hayden Butte, Town Lake Marina, Papago Park, and much more. Snap photos of cacti, tourists, and tourists dressed as cacti while enjoying a fully narrated tour of the area from master thespian Morgan Freeman, who is such a good actor that he will sound completely different, as well as possibly use a secret codename.
Each tour begins with a 30-minute orientation, ensuring riders can handle the bi-wheeled steed with grace and confidence. Then it's off for an hour-long adventure, zipping through Town Lake or Scottsdale. Don't worry about getting Seg-legs, because each Segway is equipped with high-speed microprocessors, solid-state gyroscopes, and powerful electric motors that keep riders balanced in even the thickest of locust plagues. Call ahead to make a reservation.
Riders must be at least 16 years of age and more than 100 pounds.
Segway of Scottsdale
The experienced tour guides at Segway of Scottsdale lead fleets of two-wheelers through one of two scenic Arizona cities during an extensive schedule of rides. Guests gear up for either of the 90-minute tours by hopping aboard a segway, whose self-balancing technology allows riders to tilt handlebars gently for turns or quickly for back flips. During the summer months, groups traverse the town's bridges and boulevards at dusk, stopping by landmarks such as Arizona State University and Sun Devil Stadium, whose eponymous student-athletes practice under solar-powered stadium lights to escape the chill of night. The Old Town Scottsdale Tour in particular is noted for its historic charm. Adventurousness guests can explore that charming area, including the Waterfront Main Street, and the Civic Center, glowing at night on the City Lights Tour.