Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt-burns, the segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to practice on these leisurely chariots of fire, lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour: for $37, you get a one-hour guided tour of downtown Grand Rapids (a $75 value) from Segway Tours of Grand Rapids.
As its name coyly implies, Segway Tours of Grand Rapids provides informative tours of downtown Grand Rapids attractions atop smooth-sailing, gyroscopic steeds. Get your seg-legs up and running with a quick tutorial before taking off in the wake of an experienced tour guide on a one-hour riding adventure. You'll glide past downtown sights such as the new Grand Rapids Art Museum, the Gerald R. Ford Museum, and the Children's Museum for a thoroughly edifying view of educational edifices. Then, drive your chariot by the Alexander Calder sculpture in the Civic Center before passing the Sixth Street Dam to view the Grand River Sculpture and Fish Ladder without actually transmogrifying into a hideous merperson and delving into the watery depths to fight the octopus queen.
Tours provide an ideal activity for visiting friends and family, an avenue toward learning a slew of facts to shout from the audience of a Jeopardy! filming, and an effortless way to breeze past jealous, robotic tortoises. Groups are limited to seven people, so call to reserve your tour 24 hours in advance. Tours are available seven days a week.
Segway Tours of Grand Rapids
At Segway Tours of Grand Rapids, guides perch customers atop gyroscopic locomotors and teach them to tame the machines during fun tours. After giving a brief safety training, the experts lead the way along sidewalks amid the downtown shops and dining venues, pausing at local attractions such as the Grand Rapids Art Museum, the Calder sculpture, and the Sixth Street dam. Guides cap sessions at eight riders, ensuring personal instruction, information, and even routes for parties who know the city. Tours set off throughout the week, barring deterrent external conditions such as lighting storms or the rebellion of local crossing guards.