Until humankind learns to grow gills and fins again, its ability to aqua-manoeuvre is largely limited to boats and blue-whale riding. Take to the water without needing to scrounge up the world's largest mammal with today's Groupon to Sewell's Marina in West Vancouver. Choose between the following options:

• For $35, you get a one-hour boat rental, including one tank of fuel for up to six people (a $70.56 value, including HST).
• For $40, you get one adult admission to the two-hour Sea Safari guided tour (an $81.76 value, including HST).

Up to six seafarers board a 17-foot watercraft animated by 60-horse-power Mercury BigFoot engines for 60 minutes of breezy boating through the waterways of Howe Sound. Scoot past the harbour-seal hangout of Pam Rocks, the avian abundance of the Christie Islet Migratory Bird Sanctuary, or visit a colony of sentient blankets at Snug Cove. Ahabs can also sneak in some fishing in the salmon-teeming waters. All boats come equipped with Coast Guard–approved life jackets, plus a staff member telepathically imparts safety instructions before boaters depart the dock. Guests must bring along a cell phone for contact purposes; if necessary, Sewell's has cell phones available ($3.50). Fishing licences can also be acquired on-site. Should one hour not satisfy Captain Nemo-esque urges to conquer the waves, additional time may be purchased, subject to availability ($70.56/hour).

The two-hour Sea Safari races beside steep cliffs, nuzzles up to sea caves, and gives boatswains the chance to forever entrap the soul of a soaring bald eagle via an ensnaring camera click. Cousteaus don Mustang Integrity suits for safety and comfort before belly-flopping aboard a 30-foot rigid-hull inflatable boat powered by twin four-stroke Verado Mercury engines. Guides then whisk explorers through Howe Sound, dispensing nuggets of local wisdom in the form of free-style rap.