Without hair, forlorn lovers would have to remember sweethearts by their toenail clippings and there would be no way to distinguish desert island castaways from sunburned package tourists. Revel in the power of follicles with today's Groupon to Shades of Red Hair Spa in Cleveland Heights. Choose between the following options:
• For $25, you get a haircut and blow-dry (a $75 value).
• For $100, you get $200 toward hair extensions.
Shades of Red Hair Spa employs eco-friendly products and extensively trained stylists to keep clients ahead of the hairline with contemporary 'do designs. Like large styrofoam blocks of cheese, formulaic hairstyles do not make sense on everyone's head, which is why Shades of Red consults with clients beforehand and lays out a meticulous blueprint for renovating their disheveled bird habitats. Locks are then lathered up and one of the spa's conscientious clip artists smartly snips them into shape. A gentle blow-dry and style applies the finishing touches and smoothes away thoughts of eloping via boxcar.
For customers suffering from excessive admiration for Patrick Stewart, Shades of Red bulks up threadbare head-threads with sewn-in extensions made from real human hair ($200 for full head, $25/extra track). Stylists blend transplanted tresses into the existing hair using the same careful weaving and coloring techniques demonstrated in their wig bank for the American Cancer Society.