Yellow teeth can indicate an addiction to smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, or swishing with butter. I can't believe it's not toothpaste with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a one-hour laser teeth-whitening session at Shore Smiles in Mount Pleasant (a $317 value).

The dental experts at Shore Smiles transform dull smirks to vivacious smiles with the plant- and mineral-based products of the Da Vinci teeth-whitening system. Clients kick back as an enamel advocate coats their teeth in an all-natural gel with whitening ingredients that are activated by an LED laser light, erasing both surface stains caused by smoking and drinking coffee as well as stains found deeper inside teeth from years of steeping jaws in tea. After the 60-minute light show, grins flaunt teeth that can appear up to 14 shades brighter than before. A consultation after the procedure shares the secrets of maintaining teeth's newfound brightness, such as which foods to avoid and which UFC champions not to call "sissy pants."