Locally sourced produce is always preferable to moon produce, which was found to have dangerously high levels of Buzz Aldrin's chest hair. Enjoy fresh, earthbound fruits, vegetables, and nuts with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of locally grown produce—plus a free jumbo bag of raisins—from Simonian Farms (a $23.50 total value). This deal is valid for in-store purchases, and you must redeem the jumbo bag of raisins ($3.50) in the store.
The fourth-generation Simonian Farms has been harvesting the fertile San Joaquin Valley since 1901, providing a year-round cornucopia of more than 150 varieties of ripe produce and premium dried fruit and nuts. Because most produce has the lifespan of a typical NBC sitcom, Simonian's top selections change frequently with the seasons, with the current lineup boasting cherries ($4.99–$5.99), strawberries ($4.99–$19.99), tomatoes ($0.99–$5.99), peaches ($1.25–$5.99), apricots ($1.25–$6.99), Italian peppers, and more. For a healthy, energizing snack during long PowerPoint presentations on how to make more-compelling PowerPoint presentations, scoop up nostalgia-quenching savories such as chocolate malt balls (14 oz. for $4.99), hickory-smoked almonds ($6.50), and dried pears (14 oz. for $4.99), then chase it with a satchel of salt-water taffy (16 oz. for $5.99).
Visiting Simonian's charming, historic property is like going back in time to a pastoral past populated by friendly, helpful cyborgs made out of some sort of fleshy, organic substance and dotted with antique trains, tractors, and other kinds of old-fashioned memorabilia. Reaping the ripeness of a specialty farm such as Simonian gives healthy-minded eaters a nice alternative to the usual illicit grocery-store rendezvous. Stocking up on all-natural products that come straight from the estate also decreases the likelihood of buying a jar of pickled yams that was left over from the after-party of the Treaty of Westphalia. Keep yourself healthy, happy, and local with today's Groupon to Simonian Farms.
Three Yelpers give Simonian Farms an average of four stars: