Before radio, music was broadcast via Morse code, which turned everything into a treble-heavy dance music punctuated by demands to STOP. Limber up for more-graceful dance moves with today’s Groupon: for $20, you get a five-class punch card at Simply Ballroom Dance Studio (a $40 value).

Simply Ballroom's expert two-steppers ease the intricacies of planned rhythmic movement by shepherding students through an array of beginner, intermediate, and advanced dance classes in a friendly and pressure-free atmosphere. Whether single or attached to a partner via matrimony or experimental surgery, novices can drop in on Monday-night beginner classes, where six core styles—which include waltz, tango, foxtrot, swing, rumba, and cha cha—become as comfortable as a velveteen kimono during 40-minute boogie sessions. For fans of spicy sauntering and clenched roses, zesty Friday-night salsa lessons cover the basics for novice rug cutters and more advanced moves for seasoned swishers. Check the class schedules to ensure sessions don't conflict with work, family commitments, or preplanned quantum leaps.

To ensure a steady flow on the dance floor, students should avoid wearing heavy garb or cumbersome force fields and instead don light, comfortable clothing and smooth or leather-soled shoes.