Human bodies, like floppy-disk collectors or gamblers who hit on 21, tend to accumulate things they'd be better off without. De-clutter cramped spaces with today's Groupon for colon-hydrotherapy packages at Simply Gorgeous Day Spa in Oakland. Choose from the following options:

• For $32, you get a colonic treatment (a $65 value).
• For $50, you get a colonic treatment with a massage (a $100 value).
For $85, you get a colonic treatment with a body wrap (a $170 value).

The course-clearing colon hydrotherapy treatment at Simply Gorgeous Day Spa allows bodily waste to breeze through intestinal mazes. During the colonic, filtered water internally flushes out impacted waste as the therapist externally manipulates torsos with massage techniques and xylophone mallets to encourage muscular contractions. By evicting accumulated waste, the treatment can prevent it from trespassing into the bloodstream or making its way into the skin, and can increase the colon's ability to welcome minerals and healthy bacteria into its home. Clients can choose to add a massage before their colonic, which warms up the lymphatic system and heightens relaxation, thereby increasing the efficacy of the hydrotherapy. A body wrap after a colonic further detoxifies interiors, puts the squeeze on cellulite, and alleviates water retention so that lungs don't have to hold their breath when they're inside the body.