If comic books have taught us anything, it's that getting zapped with mysterious rays always gives you crime-fighting abilities—in this case, superhuman smoothness. Let your skin fulfill its dream of pummeling two-bit hoodlums with today's Groupon: for $139, you get five laser hair-removal treatments at Simply Skin in Benton (up to a $1,000 value).

At Simply Skin, a certified laser technician targets unwanted body hair using skilled precision and cutting-edge equipment. The physician-supervised clinic can zap fuzz dwelling on epidermises or old fruit with its state-of-the-art Cutera CoolGlide laser—a handheld system that emits pulses of highly concentrated light beams, as well as a steady stream of cool air to ease the sting. During each approximately 60-minute session, the light penetrates the client's skin in order to attack hair saplings at the root, damaging pesky follicles and possibly preventing future regrowth. Patients can choose one area for five sessions' worth of removal: shoulders ($600), upper or lower arms ($700), abdominals ($800), Brazilian area ($800), or upper or lower legs ($1,000). Though discomfort should be minimal, topical anesthetic or soothing phoenix tears can be administered if needed.