What You'll Get
Looking younger often requires standing next to something much older, such as a brontosaurus femur or the future. Devote attention to present beauty with today's Groupon to Simply The Best Slimming in the Greenvale Mall. Choose between two procedures:
- For $39, you get a one-hour face-lift (a $100 value).
- For $29, you get a one-hour fat-loss ultrasound treatment (a $90 value).
Simply The Best Slimming beautifies bodies with a selection of high-tech treatments designed to restore soul containers to optimum fitness and aesthetic splendor. In the one-hour face-lift, the Ionzyme DF machine harnesses electrical currents and sound waves to open up pores while sending motley crews of vitamins and antioxidants on courageous missions into dark recesses of the dermis. A combination of vitamins C and A stimulates the production of collagen and elastin, increasing facial firmness and restoring tired skin to springy vitality while nutrients and moisturizers bring renewed energy and life to tissue too deep to have ever felt the soothing kiss of a surface cream. The treatment can be effective in reducing sun damage, wrinkles, brown spots, acne, and rosecea, leaving skin glowing with the joyful radiance of a pregnant sun.
Those looking to trim inches can avail themselves of the one-hour NARL XS 517 ultrasound procedure. Fatty areas are bombarded, like the ears of death-metal tour dogs, with 517 kHz sound waves, triggering the production of noradrenaline, a hormone that causes adipose cells to reluctantly jettison fat into the blood stream. The Triple 333 machine is then used to stimulate deep muscle tissue, eliminating the now free fats floating in through veins. The procedure is typically fast, safe, and effective, making fat vanish as quickly as any politician foolish enough to stand up to the magician mob.
Valid for new clients only.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 7, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Valid only for option purchased. By appointment only; subject to availability. Must be 18 or older. New clients only. Must use in 1 visit. Tax not included. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Simply The Best Slimming
Marisa Schroeder has witnessed many technological developments during her 30 years in the health and wellness industry. As she told Sudbury Living magazine, she has travelled to Europe many times to explore advancements in anti-aging aesthetics. The products of these explorations come to fruition at Simply The Best Slimming, where she shares discoveries such as ultrasonic fat reduction, radiofrequency skin tightening, and the Ideal Protein weight-loss plan. Schroeder's VibroGym machine also helps promote better health and a sleeker physique. A product of Russian research, the device uses vertical vibration to enhance mobility, bolster large and small muscle groups, and shake loose gummy bears hibernating in pockets.