Cavemen had no use for spas, since they needed sweater-like hair cover on cold hunts, and long fingernails to open envelopes before the advent of tools. Bask in the trimmings of modern life with today’s Groupon to Sixth Sense Spa in Evanston. Choose from the following options:

• For $25, you get a Playboy bikini wax (a $50 value).
• For $40, you get a deep-tissue massage (an $80 value).
• For $47, you get a bio-deep pore-cleansing facial (a $95 value).

Sixth Sense Spa serves all six feelers with a full range of spa services. The one-hour deep-tissue massage uses firm pressure to increase circulation and banish toxins from the body, sending them into nearby sewers to nurture anthropomorphic turtles. Banish facial impurities with the bio-deep pore-cleansing facial, which uses an alpha-hydroxy acid enzyme peel to tighten the skin, stimulate cell turnover, and extract blackheads from the gluttonous grips of hoarding pores. After a thorough hunt for every last follicular stowaway, the Playboy bikini wax leaves formerly lush brushes as smooth as a silky tundra.