Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—while extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate: for $150, you get a consultation and three laser hair-removal sessions at Skin Laser and Day Spa (up to a $550 value), located in Lambertville, Michigan. The treatment is valid for any of the following areas: upper lip, underarms, cheeks, chin, or bikini line.

Fresh off a recent expansion that nearly doubled the spa's space, Skin Laser and Day Spa pampers pileous parchments with tender care, performed by a skilled staff of specialists. After a consultation and analysis of the skin, a laser technician will pursue fugitive fuzz and wayward whiskers with the gentle justice of a laser's harmless penetrating photons, which pass through the skin and directly impact follicles for long-lasting and parole-free hairlessness. In three sessions, the technicians can remove undesired filaments from the lips ($125 per session, $300 for three), underarms ($150 per session, $400 for three), cheeks ($150 per session, $375 for three), chin ($125 per session, $300 for three), or bikini line ($200 per session, $500 for three).

Whether you're gearing up for a Baywatch reunion or seeking a temporary annulment of your mammal license, laser hair removal is a great way to turn an undesirable fur coat into a shiny, charming Members Only jacket. Your three treatments will send you well on your way to hairless harmony, but results can vary depending on skin and hair type. The friendly staff at Skin Laser and Day Spa will be happy to consult with you on how many treatments it will take to achieve desired results. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.

New clients only.