Like a good horror movie, a good weight-loss regimen shocks the body out of its lethargy, which is why so many personal trainers chase their clients on treadmills while brandishing anacondas. Get in less terrified shape with today’s Groupon: for $79, you get a lipotropic weight-loss package at SlimXpress in Anaheim (a $379 value). The weight-loss package includes:
- Four lipotropic injections fortified with vitamin B12
- A preliminary medical consultation
- A body-composition measurement
- A custom SlimXpress workbook
- Two follow-up visits
SlimXpress's silhouette-trimming lipotropic injections aim to activate the liver's fat incinerators and boost energy levels with vitamin B12. Packages begin with a medical consultation, during which a doctor or nurse listens to each client's weight-loss goals, evaluates each body's composition and rhetoric, and illustrates the fundamentals of using a workbook compiled from two decades of research and a series of clips from The Incredible Shrinking Man. At the client's second appointment, physiques receive their first in a series of four injections, the rest of which will be administered over subsequent visits. Conducted by vitamin B12, a fugue of amino acids aims to jolt the metabolic rate awake, helping the liver expel fat stores so it has more room to horde its Bananarama LPs. The package also includes two follow-up visits after the end of the B12 regime to track progress toward a more svelte shape.
At SlimXpress, scores of health professionals work to develop personalized weight-loss plans and bolster clients' personal fitness. Staff members analyze clients' health and physique goals, using results from an FDA-approved ultrasound system to draft a personalized plan. Through formulated injections, nutrition plans, and miniature campfires, waist whittlers are primed to reach ketosis, a bodily state resulting in natural metabolic fat burning. Each program and treatment employs knowledge grounded in science to ensure healthy weight loss.