Glistening teeth can boost self-confidence, blind bullies, and reflect beams of solar energy into space, annihilating Earth-bound asteroids. Show off a superhuman smile with today's Groupon: for $79, you get a one-hour in-office teeth-whitening treatment and a take-home whitening pen (a $324.94 total value) at Smile Splendor of Chicago.
As one of the largest distributors of teeth-whitening products in the United States, Smile Splendor hosts a staff of smile-savvy experts who help imbue grins with beautiful radiance. Send grass-stained teeth off in style with a one-hour, in-office whitening treatment (a $299.95 value), in which one of Smile Splendor's teeth technicians massages chompers with a whitening gel, activated by a gentle blue light for 20 minutes, while distracting senses with television, music, or the in-house dancing bear. Pearly-white professionals repeat the process up to two more times, aiding the removal of coffee stains and discoloration. Clients each walk away with a take-home whitening pen for touch-ups, including enough hydrogen-peroxide gel for 30 or more do-it-yourself applications (a $24.99 value).