A white smile says a lot about a person, showing attention to appearance and indicating hidden garbage cans full of empty White Out bottles. Let your pearly whites speak for themselves with today's Groupon to Smiling Bright. Choose between the following options:

• For $39, you get a 20-minute in-office professional teeth whitening (a $149 value).
• For $49, you get a 30-minute in-office professional teeth whitening (a $169 value).

Smiling Bright's technicians unveil radiant grins with a whitening product developed by their blanching buffs that brightens teeth by two to five shades for up to a year. Mouth porcelains and coffee-stained grills gleam immediately after 20 or 30 minutes of pain-free bleaching that permeates mottled enamel without damaging it. Clients begin whitewashing adventures by swabbing their own gums with vitamin E and mollycoddling chompers in a pre-loaded gel tray. Staff members then bathe bicuspids in LED light, activating ivory-engendering ingredients that sabotage stains.

Results vary depending on heredity and respective intake of lime-green tempera paint, but most natural fangs break the bonds of yellow stains. Patrons should avoid whitening if they have unresolved dental damage, wear braces, are pregnant, or want to preserve miniature modern-art masterpieces painted on their teeth. Shy smiles can opt for the shorter treatment in either a private or couples room, and each guest gets a complimentary toothbrush with which to freshen up post-treatment.