After navigating floating platform staircases, dodging living-room-level bosses, and searching for randomly appearing bathroom keys, most homeowners come to regret purchasing houses built by video-game designers. Take respite from the chaos with today's Groupon to Smoky Mountain Country Club in Whittier. Choose between the following options:
- For $225, you get a two-night stay for four in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom condo, valid through October 31, 2011 (a $450 value).
- For $185, you get a two-night stay for four in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom condo, valid November 1, 2011–March 31, 2012 (a $370 value).
Smoky Mountain Country Club's condos nestle themselves deep in the peaks of the Smoky Mountains, boasting stunning vistas and creature comforts to ensure a stress-relieving stay. Though amenities vary by condo and availability, each suite hosts a minimum of 1,350 square feet and equips its master bedroom with a queen-size bed and television for all-night Golden Girls marathons. Replete with large windows and a stone-encased gas fireplace, the rooms swathe patrons in comfortable temperatures, natural light, and views of the rolling hills. An in-house washer and dryer spin suds into dirty vestments, and a kitchen brimming with equipment stands ready to craft meals or hone love potions. The patio table on the viewing deck gives groups a venue to sit and enjoy fresh outdoor scents, and the provided barbecue ignites cookouts with bites from a local grocery. Handicap-accessible condos and pet-welcoming condos are available upon request, so that everyone can enjoy a stay that will leave them as relaxed as Barry White in a hot tub.
Smoky Mountain Country Club's facilities are available to all guests and include a heated pool (open through the end of October), whirlpool spa, and lit tennis courts. Health-buffs can bulk up in the resort's fitness room and then relax in the dry sauna's heated caress, while linksmen cross clubs and sport their kilt collection on the verdant tree-lined fairways of the resort's golf course for an additional fee. A vast array of off-resort activities awaits adventure-seekers such as hiking, horseback-riding lessons, and the nearby Harrah's Cherokee Casino.
Smoky Mountain Country Club
Smoky Mountain Country Club seems to grow out of its mountainous surroundings, with peaking green rooftops and wooden balconies above the trees. The resort's décor takes a cue from its rustic setting. Every condo comprises at least 1,330 square feet of hardwood floors, granite kitchen counters, and fireplaces with stone-seated hearths. Adjoining outdoor patios, each furnished to hold six guests, overlook the resort's 335 gated acres of parkland.
The resort's centerpiece, an 18-hole golf course, winds its way across low-lying dales and along precipitous crags, ranging in elevation by 400 feet from lowest to highest point. Mountaintop tee offs loft golf balls so far into the air that they seem to float or enter geosynchronous orbit.
Smoky Mountain Country Club also counts a fitness room, men and women's locker rooms with heated saunas, and two lit tennis courts among its amenities. Beyond the resort grounds, more than 1,000,000 acres of national parks afford opportunities for whitewater rafting on the Nantahala River and fishing in mountain streams.