Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—although extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate: for $179, you get three laser hair-removal treatments (up to an $1,100 value) at Socle Medical Spa, located on Smithview Drive in Maryville.
Socle Medical Spa's board-certified Dr. Kurt Datz is on-site to supervise his well-trained staff as it laser-blasts unloved body bristles in a tranquil, open spa atmosphere. Customers can choose to induce follicle forfeit from a plethora of areas, including the upper lip, chin, underarms, bikini area, half-back, chest, upper legs, lower legs, arms, and brows. The laser light will then emit a gentle, yet stern ray that penetrates skin with a members-only card and a secret handshake, vaporizing skin weeds at their roots and exiling unwanted follicles to a small, hair-covered island off the coast of Cyprus. The treatment is fast and easy, and the negligible level of discomfort has been described as comparable to a loving pinch from a nearsighted aunt that smells like beige.
The amount of treatments needed to achieve permanently smooth dolphin dermis varies but tends to be about six treatments. As such, today's Groupon has a purchasing limit of two. Socle Medical Spa's relaxing ambience allows each errant hair to make a quiet exit without the messy emotions of a formal goodbye. Call to schedule an appointment.
Socle Medical Spa
Under the guidance of a board-certified physician, the staff at Socle Medical Spa banishes a multitude of aesthetic imperfections. Media Star 810 laser technology banishes body hair from the skin, leaving limbs smooth and unhindered by forests of long-forgotten curlers. Meanwhile, a slate of IPL photofacials, microdermabrasions, and chemical peels anoint faces to help grant a radiant skin tone free from blemishes and discoloration.