Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Keep up the ruse with today's Groupon: for $55, you get a cellulite-removal treatment (a $105 value), a nonsurgical facelift (a $125 value), or scar-tissue therapy (a $125 value), plus half off in the infrared sauna (normally $1/minute) at Soft Tissue Solutions Therapeutic Center and Soft Touch Beauty Solutions in Westlake Village.
The staff at Soft Tissue Solutions renovates skinscapes with a form of therapy known as endermologie, a noninvasive treatment that aims to reduce excessive skin-folds and subdermal blubber. During any of the three options included in this deal, the endermologie zamboni vibrates and massages meddlesome areas to dissipate cellulite, stimulate face-tautening collagen, and shrink or eliminate scar tissue from C-sections, diabetes injections, and more. Cellulite removal melts away fat by stimulating lipolysis, and the noninvasive facelift employs the LPG Lift's gentle wand to metabolize facial cells, boost the production of collagen and elastin, and ease out wrinkles the way an oak tree eases out the carved initials of two star-crossed young lovers. Gnarled scars may be reduced or eliminated in scar-tissue therapy, which unpinches nerves and boosts circulation. Each of these options includes a 50% discount on the infrared sauna, where the recently kneaded simmer serenely, improve their immune systems, and vaporize worries about what color to paint the volcano.