Smooth skin is like freshly frosted birthday cake: it looks so delicious that no one cares how old you are. Flaunt body cakes with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a 30-minute glacier-salt body-glow treatment (an $85 value) and a back, neck, and shoulder massage (a $40 value) at Solaris Spa & Laser (a $125 total value).

Solaris Spa & Laser’s certified aestheticians beautify bodies with expert body treatments and massages. The 30-minute glacier-salt body glow employs mineral-rich sodium plucked from the waters of Northern Canada and Alaska to exfoliate and condition pelts, leaving them as soft and glowing as a velvet light bulb. Hyperborean salt shoos away loitering skin cells and restores depleted bodies back to fan-kicking form with a nourishing remineralization. Once skin is rendered sufficiently supple, an expert massage therapist unknots moorings with a soothing and tension-relieving 30-minute back, neck, and shoulder massage. Patrons can leave their clothes, shoes, and street bathrobes in a secure cabinet during their treatment, as Solaris Spa & Laser Clinic provides a luxurious oversized robe and slippers to each customer. The spa asks that cell phones and loquacious shoulder parrots be turned off before arriving for your appointment.