Tough human hides are designed to encase muscles, soak up vitamin D, and defend our vital organs from the rare but dangerous embrace of the vampire sloth. Repair protective exteriors with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a choice of a glycolic renewing facial (a $125 value) or a 90-minute deep-tissue massage (a $105 value) at Soleil Salon & Spa in Windham.

Soleil Salon & Spa rejuvenates crumbling skin sod and plumps up deflated spirits with an eclectic combination of time-honored and contemporary treatments. Bolster facial façades with a glycolic renewing facial, where a concoction of exfoliating glycolic acid smoothes away fine lines like a fleet of microscopic zambonis, leaving surfaces soft and ready for a pickup game of hockey. Dermal doyens dote over every inch of skin, rejuvenating brightness and helping to ensure new skin cells successfully stage their revitalizing coup. Those who lack faces or sufficient stress relief will enjoy a 90-minute deep-tissue massage. Surrender tension to the skilled fingers of a professional muscle-mender for a deep-tissue treatment, featuring the curative powers of focused friction to melt away the anxiety of inner-city con artists and outer-city cow artists.

Soleil is the French word for sun, and Soleil Salon & Spa takes this life-giving orb as inspiration for its services, bringing light and energy to every indulgent treatment. Like preparing for a stint of desert wandering or camping on the sun's surface, drink plenty of water before treatment to help hydrate and flush away toxins.