Some spider veins can easily be confused with ivy tattoos, instigating accidental melees with hedgerow gangs. Avoid mistaken affiliation with today's Groupon: for $99, you get two 15-minute spider vein treatments ($210 each) at South Granville Laser & Skin Care Centre (a $420 total value).

Voted best laser hair-removal centre by readers of Georgia Straight, South Granville Laser & Skin Care Centre eradicates external imperfections. Spider vein treatments performed by licensed technicians engage the advanced technology of an ND-Yag laser, which targets the vessel's hemoglobin to rid skin of outdated roadmaps. Like armed igloos, surrounding skin is protected by a cooling system. Targeted veins thermally coagulate, a process that causes them to collapse while your body repairs the area. Veins gradually disappear, like audience volunteers at a magic show for passenger pigeons.