When motorcycles were first invented, they were known as horseless horses. With today's Groupon, you can marvel in person at the advancement of this fantastic, fleshless beast. For $7, you get an all-access wristband to the three-day South Texas Motorcycle & Freestyle Stunt Expo at the Freeman Coliseum, a $15 value. The Expo takes place from March 19–21; stop by Friday 3 p.m.–9 p.m., Saturday 10 a.m.–9 p.m., and Sunday 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Motorcycle parking is free all weekend.

Have your sensitive, existential musings on the nature of love and suffering blasted away by the squeal and roar of thousands of bikes revving and rumpusing. Domestic and international models will be on display, along with parts, accessories, and apparel, all available for purchase. Pluck a cold brew from the Miller Lite beer garden or bring your own bike over to the bikini bike wash where you can either get a complete spiffing and shining from women wearing bikinis or have your bikini bike washed by women wearing something other than bikinis. There are stunt shows every day, with the top performers and the nation's best two-wheeled, freestyle stuntmen sparring off on Saturday. The third day of the expo concludes with a faceoff between the airborne champions and a live dinosaur jump.

Live music acts include native Texan Ruben V on Saturday evening, opened by Dallas grungers Escaping Gravity and Janis Joplin tribute squad Janice on the Rocks. Exchange your Groupon at will call for three-day wristbands at any time during the expo.

Reviews

Thousands of Facebook fans are eagerly anticipating the South Texas Motorcycle Expo, and Infiltrated revved up a segment at last year's event:

• I'm gonna have to attend this one. Looks like fun. – M. McDonough