Today's deal relieves and restores your winter-weary body, and also saves you the cost of throwing it away in favor of an expensive, imported, new body. For $50, you'll enjoy 90 sensually entrancing minutes of facials, Swedish massage, and full-body exfoliation from Spa Willamina (a $135 value).
Your session begins with a 45-minute alpha-plus facial to remove dead skin and reveal the vital skin cells waiting for their moment to shine. Your new exterior will then receive a Swedish welcoming committee through a half-hour Swedish massage. Spa Willamina’s licensed massage therapists open the channels of your circulation and evaporate the toxins floating along your muscular interstates as you listen to a background loop of Sweden’s national anthem. Your session then rounds home with a 15-minute dry-brush, full-body exfoliation that will provide the final touch-up on your refurbished body, including lymphatic drainage and circulatory stimulation, and leave you feeling fresh from the factory.
Spa Willamina's lovely house location also provides a much more relaxing atmosphere than Portland spas operating out of nearby grain silos, abandoned Soviet labor camps, and your supervisor's office cubicle. Willamina founder Willow and her staff of skilled practitioners use plant-based ingredients in their treatments, making you feel like you spent a sunny day frolicking through Forest Park and getting hugged by every flower and tree. Instead of giving your body the gift of chocolate and seasonal abundance this holiday, thank it for a year of hard work with today's revitalizing Groupon.
- I appreciate the ambiance and the positive feeling of Spa Willamina! I have been to many spas all over the Portland area! This one is top of the top!!!! – mybabybentley, Citysearch
- The staff are always pleasant and make you very comfortable, the linens are crisp and clean, and the beds are always warm. – heatherderick, Citysearch
- My massage with Kari was absolutely intoxicating. She was excellent and very professional. I can't remember ever being so pleased after a visit to a spa. I will certainly return!! – Aimers76, SpaFinder
The Secret Massage
Sweden is known for both its neutral stance on war and for being the inventor of a world-renowned massage technique. The Swedes first perfected their deep, relaxing massage in 1919, but because they feared their treasured techniques might fall into the wrong hands, they kept the existence of the Swedish massage a secret from the world. It was not until 1987, when satellite photos of Sweden revealed a shockingly relaxed populace and dozens of strategic massage bunkers, that the world became aware of the existence of the secret massage.
Naturally, the world powers began jockeying for access to the potentially weaponizable massage by means both diplomatic and underhanded. Many international observers believe that the 1992 Summer Olympics were, in fact, a complicated ruse carried out by Russia and the United States to distract Sweden long enough to steal its massage, as evidenced by the fact that Sweden won an unexpected 904 gold medals that year. Still, the Swedes held tight to the massage until 1999, when Y2K-related fears caused Swedish officials to release classified details of the massage, believing that the world would likely end. Today, the Swedish massage is practiced all over the world, though rumors that the Swedes are secretly working on an even better massage run rampant.
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While protecting the beauty of their clients, Spa Willamina also protects their skin and the environment by using pure, plant-based, natural products. Willow Light, the owner, puts her 20 years of healing experience to work in the spa, which features towering plants, an exposed-brick fireplace, and hardwood floors that can be pried up and thrown into the fireplace if necessary. Willow’s staff is a small army of aestheticians and massage therapists who have skills as diverse as certified diet counseling and herbalism. Inside various tranquil spaces—including a shower room, foot-soaking room, and nap room—they work to exfoliate body surfaces, knead out tension, and remove unwanted hair with soft strip and Cirepil Blue hard wax.