What You'll Get
Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $40, you get your choice of a one-hour Swedish, deep-tissue, sports, or aromatherapy massage (up to a $95 value) at Spadyssey Day Spa in downtown Providence. You can also combine two Groupons for a Two's Company massage (a $180 value).
Retreat to Spadyssey Day Spa's beautiful, relaxing sanctuary and feel the pressures of the outside world dissolve off your soon-to-be-tension-free shoulders. Your Groupon is good for one of four massages from one of Spadyssey's licensed therapists. The Swedish massage (an $85 value) remains a classic stress slayer, alleviating long-standing musculo-political tensions through five flowing pressure techniques. Bodies blighted by cavernous deposits of sepulchral trauma can have them swiftly exhumed via the deep-tissue massage (a $95 value), which targets problem areas and shoos out their bothersome spirits using slow strokes and deep pressure. The healing scented oils of the aromatherapy massage (a $95 value) will make you forget the smell of your own burning hair, while the sports massage (a $95 value) unties quadruple-knotted muscle fibers on the neck, back, and shoulders.
Maize-colored walls, cushy chairs, and pleasant lighting accentuate the Old World charm of Spadyssey—its warm, tranquil ambience aided by a soothing synthesis of music, satisfying scents, friendly staff, and their feather-down hugging apparatus. Patrons leave Spadyssey's pampering premises feeling lifted, refreshed, and confident, making today's Groupon a fine gift for downtrodden cubicle warriors or dumbbell deliverymen.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 6, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. By appointment only. No cash back. Gratuity not included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.