Much like robots, children, and robotic children, bikes need to be regularly recalibrated to keep them from developing human emotions. Keep your bike performing at its functional, unfeeling best with today's Groupon: for $45 you get a complete overhaul tune-up at Sparki's Old Time Bicycle Shop (a $90 Value).
Sparki's owner, Allen Jennings, consults a lifetime of cycling knowledge to enable all levels of pedal pushers to rip up the roads and trails on two wheeled steeds. Dishonest rims that conceal their misdirecting intentions are set straight with a detailed wheel truing. Chains, cables, and pivot points are lubricated to optimize an array of performance aspects from seamless shifting to on-the-dime stopping power, while careful pad canting and meticulous derailleur tweakings ensure velocipede pilots don't uncontrollably careen through busy intersections. Sullied drive trains are completely removed for a thorough degreasing before being swathed in friction-fighting soap that turns creaking cassettes into melodious compact discs. Before bikes return to pedestrian powered travel, bearing adjustments to the bottom bracket, hubs, and headset reinforce ailing chain pullers.
At 69 years of age, Allen performs full-service repairs amid an awe-inspiring collection of tires and rims that hang from the walls like mobile crown molding. The comfortable atmosphere gives equal treatment to each customer, from aspiring tour riders to unemployed bears attempting to learn the sport for future circus auditions.