Getting in shape, much like speed-reading Russian literature, requires concentration and the strength to forge ahead through painful, protracted inner monologues. Forge ahead toward fitness with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get a one-month whole body vibration membership, one infrared-sauna session, and one ionic footbath at Spice Wellness Systems on Fairmount Drive Southeast (a $310 value).

At Spice Wellness, patrons can tone and tighten bodies with the help of whole body vibration technology, first developed by the Russian space program to keep cosmonauts in good condition. A one-month pass (a $250 value) grants members thrice-weekly sessions standing atop the Spice Sonic, which sends vertical vibrations throughout the body, stimulating muscles to reflex and contract involuntarily. One 10-minute session can impart the benefits of a one-hour gym workout or it can turn concealed carbonated beverages into volatile powder kegs. In addition to giving sinews a workout, the system can also lessen joint tension, take off inches, reduce aches, and relieve stress. After one of the tremulous treatments, clients can sweat out toxins in an infrared sauna (a $25 value) or soak pavement pounders in an ionic footbath (a $35 value) designed to relax and detoxify feet while instructing them on the differences between Ionic and Doric architecture.