If placed properly, acupuncture needles invoke an ancient practice that can lessen pain, treat chronic fatigue, and prove man's triumph over the motionless pincushion. Harness a time-tested healing art with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a relaxation acupuncture session, a full spine exam, and a MedX treatment designed to relieve neck or back pain at the Spinal Decompression Centre (a $170 value).

The Spinal Decompression Centre's fully licensed inveterate vertebrae virtuosos soothe cramped and weary spines. A full exam analyzes the spine for bumps, bruises, and cheetah-print tattoos to discern the causes of back discomfort, such as a possible slipped disc or an overacting Sisyphus impression. Next, a session on the computerized MedX rehabilitation system addresses neck and back pains and performs isometric testing on the client's range of motion to diminish headaches and back pain. Finally, a relaxation acupuncture session rounds out the treatment trinity to melt stress, vanquish fatigue, and calm nerves worried about melting stress.