If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, then disheveled hair provides the least efficient route for climbing monkeys to reach the bananas in your fruit hat. Today's Groupon tames tresses for easy scaling: for $99, you get a Brazilian Blowout (a $250 value) at Spirals Salon.

Since 2004, Spirals Salon has specialized in cutting and treating naturally springy hair, though the highly accredited staff expertly services all hair types, including straight and writhing Medusean serpent strands. The Brazilian Blowout treatment especially caters to wavy, curly, frizzy, or damaged hair, coating each hair shaft with an enchanting brew of nutrients, proteins, polymers, and pixie tears, all to smooth jagged cuticles. The stylist first shampoos locks with anti-residue shampoo before a vigorous towel drying. Next, the mollycoddled mop is sectioned and dusted with a gentle, ghost-free solution. Happy head-hedges are then blow-dried straight, flat-ironed, rinsed, coated with a 60-second conditioning masque, and smoothed and dried again. After 90 minutes in the chair, the customer sashays out the door with a swishy mane that stays super sleek for up to 12 weeks. Blow drying and flat-ironing become a thing of the past, like a Studebaker fueled with pulverized Dodo eggs.

The Spirals staff boasts over 50 years of combined experience, as well as training from such prestigious haircademies as Framesi and Redken Color Systems, Toni & Guy Cutting, Paul Mitchell Core Coloring and Cutting, and Vidal Sassoon Advanced Education. In a warm environment defined by honey-hued walls, gleaming wood floors, and plush chairs, the stylists create a family culture where clients can feel at home, and return again and again like cats asleep on a keyboard's "Enter" key.

Reviews

Citysearchers offer Spirals Salon a 4.5-star average, and three Google Mappers offer an average of 4 stars:

• I have been going to Sprials [sic] for 7 months now and it is by far the best salon. It is classy without being stuffy. – LUVinPINK, Citysearch
• The team is full of energy, very welcoming, and always leaves me feeling fabulous after leaving the salon! – Gabriella, Google Maps