Contrary to popular belief, boats are actually much safer than cars, which inexplicably sink every time you drive them on water. Take a proper water road ride with today’s Groupon. Choose between two cruise options from Spirit Cruises:

• $58 for a Spirit Dinner Cruise (up to a $113 value with taxes and fees), with a complete dinner buffet, grand views of DC’s waterfront, and on-board dancing. This deal is valid through December 30, 2010.
• $24 for a Spirit of Mount Vernon Excursion Cruise (up to a $46.54 value with taxes and fees), including the cruise to and from Mount Vernon, estate admission, and a narrated Potomac Tour. This deal is valid through October 30, 2010.

This Groupon can also be used for the Colonial Market & Fair on September 18 and 19 as well as Fall Harvest Family Days on October 23 and 24.

The Spirit Dinner Cruise floats diners through an evening of succulent feasts for the ears, mouth, nose, eyes, and dancebuds. The dinner buffet lays out enough fine food to satisfy an appetitive pack of longshoremen with culinary degrees. You’ll get your pick of salads, carving stations (meat only, no ivory), hot entrees, sides, and desserts, such as smokehouse carved ham, wild Alaskan salmon, pasta Italiano, fresh local vegetables, and cheesecake. Panoramic windows create a historic waterfront backdrop as the friendly waiters don their singing caps and prove their serving skills match their melodic mastery. Cut a boatrug as a live DJ keeps the hits coming. Show your city off to visiting in-laws or take your sweetie out for a romantic night under the stars and finally reveal which one you’re visiting from.

The Spirit of Mount Vernon Excursion Cruise, on the hard a-starboard side, provides a narrated tour of the Potomac to Mount Vernon, the neoclassical Georgian estate of the inaugural inauguree, George “Washington” Dollarbill. After having three hours to tour the estate and search for the original-flavor president’s secret vault of Simpsons memorabilia, return to your captained sea craft. Like Cleopatra being carried on a litter, the sea will smoothly transport you and your vessel on its back while the public envies and adores you from afar.

Boating is a make-believe game for adults; it allows you to imagine your life as an adventurous business tycoon, a boat-dwelling showman, or a founding forefather commuting home by sea. Embark on your own maritime fantasy with one of two Groupons from Spirit Cruises.

Not valid on holidays or special events.