What You'll Get
Some washing machines rotate at the inverse velocity of time, creating tiny wormholes just large enough to transport a single sock into another dimension. Keep garments clean and in this universe with today’s Groupon to Splashers Laundry and Tanning. Choose between the following options:
- For $20, you get 50 pounds of drop-off laundry service, including washing, drying, and folding (up to a $47.50 value).
- For $25, you get a $50 worth of self-service laundry.
Splashers brightens up the chore of washing clothes with an on-site snack bar that serves bottled beer, tanning beds, a big-screen TV, and free WiFi. The washery offers same- or next-day service on drop-off laundry, tending to T-shirts, pants, blouses, and Santa suits based on owner specifications. Those who opt for self-service laundry can sling dirty duds into professional Dexter front-load washers ($2.49/cycle for 20-pound load; $8.39 for 80-pound load) and dryers ($0.25–$0.75 for 7 minutes). For added convenience, machine use is paid for with an easy swipe card instead of quarters plucked from behind a stranger’s ear.
The Fine Print
Expiration varies. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 3 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. May redeem across visits. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.