Paintball is like a production of Hamlet: it's exciting, demanding, and by the end everyone has pretend-died. Satisfy your paintlust with today’s Groupon: for $21, you get an all-day session of unlimited field access, 500 paintballs, and all necessary equipment (a $41.52 total value) at Splat Paintball at Clay’s Park Resort in North Lawrence. Equipment includes a semi-automatic gun, a mask, a pod pack (holds extra paint), and enough air for a long day of Technicolor alarums and excursions. Tax is included in the deal. Carry-on paint is prohibited, so players who blast through all their ammo before the day is done can purchase more at the field shop.

Splat Paintball provides a fun and exciting outdoor environment where brave paintslingers of all skill levels can practice their marksmanship, relieve the stresses of everyday life, and alleviate the guilt of midnight refrigerator raids. With your mask securely in place, your eyes will be safe from blindness and your secret superhero identity protected from inquisitive minds. Sneak stealthily through purple mountain majesties, amber waves of grain, and blue-bespeckled tree trunks as you attempt to capture the enemy’s flag. As you crawl on your belly over rocks and dash between bunkers with the whiz of small paint-filled capsules humming past your ears, open fire while tucking, rolling, and shouting in slow-motion until your enemies, best friends, or coworkers have all been decimated in a splatter of color. The game ends when a flag has been captured, despoiling opponents of the bragging rights guaranteed them by an early, paint-flecked draft of the U.S. Constitution.

If you've always wished the work of John Woo was more like that of Jackson Pollock and vice versa, you've found your new home with today’s Groupon to Splat Paintball.

Reservations required. Not good with any other offer. Minimum age of 10, under 18 must sign waiver.

Reviews

Here's what PB Reviewers are saying about Splat:

• [E]xcellent woods fields[sic], good speedball fields, a good pro shop with people who know what they're doing, good customer service (they'll replace just about any defective item if you've bought it from them), and refs who are constantly watching the games and making sure everyone is safe and having fun. – onyoursix7
• This field is great. It is a great place for woodsballers and speedballers. – batteryjuice88