What You'll Get
If the Hundred Years' War had been fought with paintballs instead of rifles, it might still be happening, but it'd be so colorful that no one would mind. Experience your own vibrant battlefield with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a three-hour paintball outing, plus gear and a hopper of paintballs, at SplatBrothers PaintBall Park, in Hopewell (a $39 value).
SplatBrothers' paintball battlegrounds include 13 outdoor playing fields complete with wooded areas, treacherous ravines, built cities, dilapidated houses, and spools for more splat-friendly play. Gear up in goggles and a face mask, and arm yourself with a Tippmann 98 custom paintball “marker” (paintball-speak for “gun”), high-pressure air tank, and load up with a hopper of paintballs—all included in the cost—which is enough to play a solo game of checkers on the exposed epidermis of any and all unruly passersby. Paintball is a safe and enjoyable way to blow off steam, assail a childhood nemesis, or finally settle a heated quarrel over the visceral affect of abstract expressionism with that know-it-all art-history professor.
If your finger gets caught in the trigger-spree crossfire, you can always buy more paint at the pro shop (500 rounds start at $20). The fields are only open Saturday and Sunday, and be sure to dress appropriately: the paint washes out of clothing, but you're going to get really dirty, no matter how gifted a sharpshooter you may be. Reservations required.
Must be at least 10 years old to play. All players must sign a waiver; players under age 18 must have waiver signed by a parent.
Enthusiastic PBreview.com reviewers have these positive thoughts on SplatBrothers:
- The field was well laid out and has a really nice, wide variety of terrain. Hills, brush, open area's and lots and lots structures. The tower was especially excellent!! The ref's were all very much on the ball and did a great job of enforcing the rules. – KingInYellow
- It is an amazing field. I loved it. Best field for a Scenario out of the ones I have went to. The Tower of Power was epically amazing. I loved the trenches and such. The people who worked there are some of the friendliest and most organized too. – tristanot
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Sep 23, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 3 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Reservation required. Must be at least 10. Must sign legal waiver. Only valid on Saturday and Sunday. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About SplatBrothers Paintball Park
Modeled after video games, scenes from famous movies, and real-life wars, SplatBrothers Paintball Park's outdoor fields challenge first-time and returning players alike with obstacle-cluttered terrain that change early and often. Players can duck for cover in a school bus, ice-cream truck, or disco van, surprise opponents hiding in a chicken coop, or lead attacks from more than 40 bunkers strewn across a spool-littered field. They can also sneak through a trapdoor to climb to the top of a three-story tower, which looms above a field the size of two football fields or 200 one-yard models of football fields.
In between gaming scenarios such as capture the flag and freeze tag, players reload and rehydrate in the Welcome Center, where visitors test their aim at the target range, watch bouts from the viewing area, or feast at picnic tables. Along with private weekday and public weekend games, SplatBrothers Paintball Park hosts tournaments, scenario games, and monthly big games based on pop-culture staples such as Angry Birds and The Walking Dead.