Modern technology has crippled human social skills, leaving people suctioned to keyboards and communicating primarily through status updates and dialogue-lasers. Today's Groupon helps you experience life beyond holograms. For $25, you get $50 worth of athletic-league play with Sports Monster, a nationwide supplier of adult recreational sports leagues. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to register with today's Groupon. The $50 value of your Groupon will cover the cost of some leagues; if you're interested in a more expensive sport, you can use your Groupon toward the cost and simply pay the difference.
The opportunity to play outside with large groups of strangers usually ends after fifth-grade graduation. Sports Monster lets you reclaim the best parts of the childhood play experience without the stigma of being picked last for cheese-rolling team. A variety of sports are available for deployment in the Cleveland/Akron area. "Go-Deep" flag football ($50–$80) comes with field permits and spicily seasoned refs for a touch of professional panache. Other sports include softball ($45), kickball ($35), tennis ($45), basketball ($80–$90), and curling into a ball to protect your noggin from flying sports balls.
Leagues are generally six to nine weeks in duration and follow the calendar for the season at hand, matching sporting event to climate. The flavor of the experience is up to the league you join. Some leagues provide a platform for serious business competition, while others are more of a physically active social outlet. Whether you're in it for fun, guts, glory, or self-flagellation, Sports Monster provides ample options to sate all manner of subconscious motivation.