Cleaning the car is a tedious chore that—much like seeing the love of your life devour an entire wedding cake—can actually dampen your ardor for it. Keep human-car relations strong with today's Groupon: for $20, you get four Ultimate washes at Squirt the Dirt Car Wash at the Mason or Fairfield Township locations (up to a $40 value).

Squirt the Dirt Car Wash fulfills its titular promise by rinsing automobiles of filth and grime with touch-free, high-pressure tunnel washes. Pamper your vehicle after a rough day of left turns with an Ultimate wash that scours exteriors with a hot-foam bath, as well as an undercarriage and double high-pressure wash.

Nether regions get luxe treatment with a tire cleaning and wheel and rocker blaster, which removes telltale signs of illegal off-roading and chocolate-pudding wrestling. Tri-foam wax and clear-coat protector seal in your auto’s shiny metal coat. A spot-free rinse and blow-dry concludes the treatment, leaving sunroof-less cars with the top-down, wind-blown 'do they’ve always wanted.