What You'll Get
The practice of colonic hydrotherapy has existed since ancient times, though it was used predominantly as a method for pranking political rivals—hence the saying, "The enema of my enemy is my friend." Use the same basic principles to achieve a safe, clean, fundamental cleansing with today's Groupon to Standing Waves. Choose from the following options:
- For $30, you get a one-hour massage (a $65 value)
- For $35, you get a colon hydrotherapy treatment (a $75 value)
For the past eight years, Standing Waves has specialized in colonic hydrotherapy, supplementing it with a variety of massages, nutrition advice, classes, and products under the guidance of owner and certified therapist Elayne Whitehead. Massage enthusiasts will get to enjoy a 60-minute treatment, which can incorporate deep-tissue and relaxation techniques to pinpoint and target the body's most entrenched sleeper cells of stress and tension. The relaxing treatment may cause you to fall asleep and dream that octopi ballroom dancers are waltzing across your back.
But Standing Waves' top concern is helping clients unclutter their colons, where waste material and dead tissue can accumulate and circulate toxins back into the bloodstream, potentially leading to such common ailments as headaches, backaches, bad breath, skin blemishes, gas bloating, and fatigue. Colonic hydrotherapy uses an FDA-approved Hydrosan Plus machine to gently introduce water into the large intestine, breaking down its backlog of poisonous debris and then flushing it from the premises. In the process, it will release any trapped waste, trapped gas, or trapped coalmine canaries that might reside in the bowels of your bowels. Elayne will take every step to put you at ease throughout the 30–45-minute treatment, ensuring a minimum of discomfort and a maximum of privacy. The procedure and equipment eliminates any mess or odor, and a single disposable speculum and hose are used for each session to ensure pristine sanitary conditions. Consult the FAQ for any further questions regarding the treatment or its physical effects.
The Fine Print
Expiration varies. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. By appointment only. Subject to availability. 24-hour cancellation policy. Must be at least 18 or have parental consent for hydrotherapy option. Valid only for option purchased. Gratuity not included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.