If it's not labeled with your name, your coffee mug legally can be used by any person, animal with opposable thumbs, or sentient plant that wants to drink from it. Stake a claim to what's yours with today's Groupon: for $30, you get $65 toward star naming and more from the International Star Registry.
Star Registry's custom star-naming kits (starting at $54) include an official and ornate parchment certificate, which you can get framed or unframed. The certificate contains the name of your choosing, the dedication date, and telescopic coordinates of your celestial entity. As a special romantic option, you can add a silver-heart pendant or a bracelet engraved with the name of your star for an extra $69.95. If you want to see your star's name preserved in print, pick up the next volume of Your Place in the Cosmos ($44.95 for volume eight). Star Registry also offers a wide range of products and upgrades that will take your star-naming ownership experience to infinity and beyond.
Besides providing a perfect natural habitat for your pet rock, a star can last several millennia longer than more conventional birthday presents such as a box of chocolates or a bag of tube socks. And even if it doesn't, the fireworks from its supernova are a spectacular gift in and of themselves. Instead of wishing upon a star, use today's Groupon to christen a star—and then collect royalties on any wishes made on it or poetry inspired by it.
You can buy more than one of these Groupons but can only apply one to each order.
International Star Registry
The International Star Registry outfits customers with gifts not found on this planet. Literally. The company, which since 1979 has named stars for millions of recipients worldwide, including celebrities, dignitaries, and royalty, allows customers to name a star after themselves, a family member, loved one, or co-worker. With information in hand, they publish it in Your Place in the Cosmos for registration in the U.S. Copyright Office. Individuals whose names served as the inspiration also receive a custom package that contains a certificate proclaiming the star's name, a booklet on celestial bodies, and a sky chart that shows the star's coordinates, saving them from having to tether it to a fence post for future findings.