Thanks to capitalism, tanning beds can form unions, offer competitive rates, and provide better skin-bronzing services than the sun itself. Help drive Helios out of business with today’s Groupon: for $29, you get a month's worth of unlimited tanning (up to a $95 value) and a bottle of tanning lotion (a $20 value) OR two Brazilian waxing sessions (a $100 value) at Sun Spa. Tanning is available at Sun Spa, Cabana Tan, and Chateau de Bronze. Waxing is exclusively at the Sun Spa location. Both services expire 30 days after you activate your Groupon, but you will have six months to activate it. You can purchase two Groupons to take advantage of both services, but they cannot be used for two redemptions of the same service.
Sun Spa’s waxing wizard Tristen Soltero and her crew of highly trained depilitators can wax away dermis wool and cutis coppice with two Brazilian sessions (a $50 value each). Once your bikini region is so Brazilian that your hips can speak passable Portuguese to one another, you’ll achieve a pelvic thrust that really drives them insane in time for a summer’s worth of Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight screenings.
If your body is naturally hairless due to a fourth-grade science-fair project gone horribly wrong, spend a month in any of Sun Spa’s tanning beds as they brown body bark with all the precision of a nonviolent Procrustes. All you’ll have to do is relax while the alchemical apparatus transmutes even the sallowest skin into pure gold.
Like a Brazilian beach or a bored sun god, Sun Spa transforms pallid skeleton wrappers into gloriously burnished Miami tuxedos. Call ahead to schedule your appointment for the service of your choice.
Not valid for airbrush tanning.