Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Attract the right kind of attention with today's Groupon: for $125, you get three VelaShape II cellulite-reduction treatments at Synergy Laser Esthetic Solutions in New Rochelle (up to a $750 value). Choose to use your three sessions on one of the following areas: arms, abdominal pouch, love handles, outer thighs, inner thighs, neck, or buttocks.

Since introducing the FDA-approved, noninvasive VelaShape II technology to Westchester County residents in 2009, Synergy's licensed and certified staff has helped numerous bodies tone, tighten, and break free from lumpy fat cells. Working in a clean, upscale clinic, technicians bathe problem areas in a potent combination of mechanical massage, bi-polar frequency, infrared light, and suction to safely drain fat cells and sculpt limbs without subjecting clients to Michelangelo-esque temper tantrums. Additionally, because treatments don't break skin like classic liposuction, clients experience minimal downtime and can save Big Bird band-aids for decorating their cars' exteriors. VelaShape II takes no longer than 30 minutes per session and yields best results after an average of four–six treatments.