Like ripened fruits, people with healthy-coloured skin tend to spend less time loitering in orchards and are more likely to get picked up at the grocery store. Catch the eye of passing orangutans with today’s Groupon: for $19, you get either 150 minutes of UV tanning or two spray-tan sessions at Tan de Soleil (up to a $68 value).

A comfortable skin-tinting emporium, Tan de Soleil stocks the equipment and friendly tan-whisperers necessary to turn a consumptive complexion into a Grecian glow. For a quick coat of colour, opt for two spray-tan sessions (a $68 value). You'll step into the VersaSpa spray chamber, and, once you select your preferred solution, you'll be sprinkled with a light mist that can bronze the skin, provide anti-aging moisturizing, or offer pre-sunless hydration. The high-tech treatment lasts just 60 seconds and speedily dries, eliminating the need for downtime before you adorn yourself with a ball gown or wetsuit. For a more leisurely route to a lingering glow, opt for the 150 minutes of UV tanning (a $54 value) and relax in the high-powered sun-cave as your melanin morphs into a deep, dark hue in the relaxing tanning bed. You may choose your preferred bed from among Tan de Soleil's sophisticated line of lay-down and stand-up devices; timing technicalities vary for the different types of beds, and your minutes may be used up faster on premium and stand-up models.

Working alongside the upscale tannerie's high-quality equipment is a high-quality staff of professional technicians ready to assist you with advice and guidance in any tanning or investing endeavour upon which you wish to embark. All of Tan de Soleil's vanities are fully equipped with complimentary toiletries, making this Groupon an ideal gift for a pallid friend who fatefully missed a flight to Fiji.