What You'll Get
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Smiling is an inexpensive way to feel better, make friends, and increase your salary by 3%. Unfortunately, the effects of smiling are marred by unpearly teeth kernels. Today’s Groupon smacks your smirk into shape with a cleaning, exam, and x-rays from Texas Dental for $50 (a $250 value). If your job doesn’t offer dental insurance, this package makes teeth maintenance affordable.
Lounge back in the plush chairs and open wide: the dentists at Texas Dental have plenty of experience. All three dentists on staff studied at the prestigious University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio, which is one of the top-ranked dental schools in the country and has the second-ranked creative writing for dentists program. After your teeth get polished, x-rayed, examined, and de-plagued, each dentist will take turns reading one chapter from their collaboratively penned short story collection The Wild Toothmen.
Humans only get one set of chompers in life (not counting baby teeth and adult-onset teeth). Unlike hair and nails, they won’t grow back if you destroy them with years of neglect or one Monopoly accident. Even if you brush, floss, mouth wash, and whiten at home, dental exams are still suggested every six months to detect early signs of gum disease. A pretty smile is a great way to professionally advance, socially thrive, and gain respect in pick-up basketball games.
NOTE: Patients diagnosed with periodontal disease can redeem the remainder of the coupon at a periodontal maintenance appointment.
The dentists at Texas Dental are highly rated on Dr. Oogle:
- Dr Lazaris takes his time to talk to you and educate you about what needs to be done and what he recommends. His staff is always very professional and fun to be around - they make each visit very relaxing and you get a feeling that everyone knows their job inside and out - you get a real quick sense of professionalism in his office. – Patient Review 1
- Very friendly staff and high-tech equipment. They use digital x-rays = no radiation for you. They have flat screen tv's on the ceiling to keep you entertained and use laser cavity finders = no more poking!! – Patient Review 3
- Dr. Ricci was extremely thorough and caring. Great gentle chairside manner. I need much more work done but am not completely dreading it. – Patient Review 4
Sometimes being a great dentist isn’t enough—you also need a gimmick. Here are some dentists who have stooped to gimmicky shticks to drum up business:
- James Darby, the Dentist of the Future: Dr. Darby claims to be from the year 3009, “Twelve years after the Saturn War.” He came to our time to practice “future-dentalism,” which uses non-invasive tools. Unfortunately, his instruments were damaged during time-flight, forcing him to practice what he calls “barbaric past-dentalism.”
- Stand-Up Comedy Dentist Laura Van DeAbernos: As a stand-up comedian during the 1980s comedy boom and a 1991 graduate of the Palo Alto Dental Academy, Dr. Van DeAbernos seeks patients who want to hear jokes about in-laws and microwave dinners during appointments.
- Dr. Griffin, DDS: Rendered completely invisible after ingesting a mysterious serum, Dr. Griffin continued to run his Sante Fe dental clinic without interruption. While being invisible has drawn some curious onlookers, most of Dr. Griffin’s patients appear to be drawn more to his friendly manner than to his lack of reflecting surface properties.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 23, 2010. Amount paid never expires. New patients only. Limit 1 per person. May purchase multiple as gifts. Restrictions may apply to patients with periodontal disease. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.