Delinquent light beams constantly trespass into cars, heating the air, bleaching upholstery, and changing all the radio presets to smooth jazz stations. Combat iridescent incursion with today's Groupon: for $75, you get window tinting for a sedan, crossover, station wagon, small pickup, or small SUV at The Dark Side, located in Cockeysville (up to a $150 value). Vehicles with a third row of seats, such as large SUVs and pickups, can be tinted for an additional $25.

The Dark Side's passionate staff dims windows with Madico films that can block out up to 99.9% of UV light, preventing interior sun damage and boosting riders' privacy. During the two-hour process, the tint techie first cuts and heat-molds the adhesive film to fit each window, then squeegees it into place until it is as smooth as an obsidian statue dipped in motor oil. Car parents can choose from a range of shades and visible light transmission levels for their particular stylistic and practical needs, such as hiding their mid-commute pedicure from passing motorists.

Each tint job is covered by a lifetime warranty, ensuring that cars remain permanently cool and clandestine. The Dark Side's car cosseters can also remove tints should the owner move to a state with different tinting laws or wish to dramatically remove the car's sunglasses in the opening credits of its new TV show.

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