Cardio’s great for the circulatory, nature walks nourish the nervous, and timpani drums regulate the digestive, but today’s Groupon addresses the most underappreciated body system: for $29, cleanse your lymphatic system with a 30-minute hyper-thermic oxygen sauna treatment at The Intrinsic Wellness Center.
After stepping into the lymphatic-detoxifying chamber, you’ll be enveloped in steamy hotness. The humid heat will calmly coax harmful toxins to escape through your skin, lungs, kidneys, and colon, leaving you to emerge the picture of good health as if you were a young Dorian Gray. A boost in blood circulation gets your complexion glowing, the vasodilatation of peripheral blood vessels relieves nagging pains, and the warm, moist temperature will sedate and relax you into a calm state of unrage.
Controlled hyperthermia can be beneficial for a variety of health ailments as well, including upper or lower respiratory tract infections, bladder problems, or urinary tract infections. You’ll also speed up your metabolism and blast 200¬–450 calories per session. Get this Groupon to detox from holiday sweets, or get glowing in time for all your seasonal festivities including cutting down a holiday tree, wrapping holiday presents, and singing holiday carols.
The Intrinsic Wellness Center was voted one of the top five best massages in North Texas on WFA A-List, and received consistent raves from reviewers:
- Friendly, helpful, and knowledgeable staff. Clean, peaceful environment. Clinically proven permanent weight management program. – nutrametrixtoday
- RITZ CARLTON TYPE OF SERVICE AND AFFORDABLE PRICES – Keithfrein
- Intrinsic Wellness Center is a wonderful center. I love the people and the vibe. All prices are moderate and worth every penny:) – jillhudson
Detoxifying Treatments for the Truly Wealthy
A reviewer on A-List Texas writes that the Intrinsic Wellness Center offers “Ritz Carlton type of service.” While Intrinsic’s fancy services are highly affordable, a competitor, the Innate Health Facility, goes out of its way to provide luxury services only the rich can afford. Here are some ways it caters to the wealthy:
- solid gold towels
- detoxification chambers double as wind-chamber money machines
- Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop handles your pre-treatment exam
- that’s not detoxifying steam—that’s the breath of gorgeous women
- if detoxifying measures fail, the staff will transpose your brain into a robot body
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Well Spa Associates
Like armies of fierce yet plush teddy bears fighting off hoards of invaders, the certified technicians at Intrinsic Wellness Center decimate stress and bodily toxins with a soft touch. The service menu brims with colon hydrotherapy, massages, and other therapies designed to boost energy and extract the venomous microorganisms that run roughshod through the body.
Powered by far-infrared heat, saunas and body wraps help bodies sweat away unwanted pounds while melting pent-up stress like a microwave dinner melts the romance of a first date. Seasoned massage therapists dissolve muscle knots with four types of kneading modalities, and nutrition counselors help clients build custom regimens of vitamins and supplements using high-tech analytical tools such as Nutri-Physical. In addition to pampering bodies and spirits with detox programs and other spa treatments, staffers edify minds during onsite personal training and prepare people for emergencies during CPR classes.