For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Get smoothed out in style with today's Groupon to the The Ivy Spa in Rensselaer. Choose between the following options:

• For $35, you get a one-hour massage of your choice (a $70 value).
• For $20, you get a half-hour express facial (a $40 value).

Housed within the comfy confines of a brick abode, The Ivy Spa soothes world-weary bodies and skins with its massage and facial services. Calm-seeking clients can ease into velour leisure suit of relaxation with an hour-long massage in a variety of modalities. The popular Swedish massage kneads out gnarly knots as it releases tension and subcutaneous steam, while the deep-tissue massage confronts pesky pain under the dermal surface by applying pressure. Send aches back to their gloom-filled lairs with a shiatsu massage, a total body workup that calls upon the calming power of fingers and palms to alleviate sore spots, or pamper peds with a reflexology massage, which applies pressure to points on the feet that correlate with various parts of the body. The Ivy also offers prenatal massages for preparents.

Those with stress-laden skin can opt for a half hour of countenance caressing. With the express facial, dermises are treated to a condensed blast of clean, exfoliating revitalization that ends in the bestowing of a mask perfect for donning when sneaking back into work.