Consider poor Sasquatch—if only he could get Internet access on a toadstool, he might see that today's Groupon for laser hair removal at The New You Aesthetic Medicine Med Spa (located inside Pure Spa and Salon) will get rid of all the unsightly hair polluting your otherwise perfect body. For $185, you get three laser hair-removal treatments—a great bargain for the normally pricey treatments.
This Groupon is valid for the following areas: underarms, bikini, beard, upper lip, and back of neck. It's not applicable to scalp, tongue, brows (eye or other), and neighbors' pets, or to facilitate crop circles.
After a preliminary consultation, each laser session removes hairs in the growing stage by heating the follicle to prevent re-growth. Since not all hairs are in the growing stage at the same time, six to eight New You laser treatments usually produce full results. You can expect to see around a 12–16% reduction in hair after each treatment, and six to eight treatments usually produce full results.
New You's technicians use two different lasers—a YAG laser and an alexendrite laser—so they can safely treat patients of any skin color. The alexandrite laser, named for inventor Alexander Graham Bell, was initially so expensive, it was only used to trim the facial hair of seated presidents and visiting foreign dignitaries. The YAG laser is an acronym for Bell's late-life passion: yelling at gophers.
The New You Aesthetic Medicine Med Spa has earned glowing web reviews. Citysearchers give the med spa a perfect five stars:
- The procedure is quick and virtually painless, and the care at this med spa location is fantastic!.. They are ALL very nice and very good...You can also use the ?water room? for free if you go for a procedure, it?s a whirlpool and steam bath ( very cool). – Bettieo
- Kristin has done microdermabrasion and laser hair removal on me for several months now and I LOVE IT. – vander1
- I was very scared to do the laser hair removal and once I got over the initial fear of the unknown I was so pleased with my results! – corywhitefield0102
Monster of All Hair Removals
Sasquatch swept his moppy paw through the surface of the pond, distorting his reflection, if only for a moment, and watched as the ripples slowly reshaped themselves into the inescapable familiar. He moaned, soulfully.
He was a hirsute beast of the furriest order with the deep, longing eyes of a man in a body that appeared to be composed of mud and otters. He ached to be pink and smooth, like the fetching flesh apes he had seen catching fireflies and texting in the nearby meadows. Oh, how joyful, to be sleek and hairless, to rinse off clean and dry in the sun like naked mole rats twisting on a sheet of foil.
Of course, he did not know these words, these concepts. He knew only the fur, a dense, matted prison from which not even hope could escape. He pinched a tick from his shoulder blade and bit it in half.