When deprived of flavourful sustenance, the mouth will often retaliate by shouting your bank-account number at sporting events or turning every sentence into a high-pitched jingle. Tame an unruly tongue with today’s Groupon to The Oakwood Café. Choose between the following options:

• For $30, you get a dinner of contemporary cafe fare for two (up to a $69.98 total value). The dinner for two includes:
• Two entrees (up to a $31.99 value each)
• One shared dessert (a $6 value)
  
  
• For $5, you get $10 worth of anything on the menu during lunch before 3 p.m.
  
  
• For $10, you get $20 worth of anything on the menu during dinner.<p>

The Oakwood Café’s chefs create upscale twists on cafe favourites from their multifarious new menu, which includes meat, vegetarian, and gluten-free options prepared onsite. Take taste buds on a meaty sojourn with nibbles of steak and salmon, in which AAA grilled-to-order sirloin and a fresh Atlantic fish filet defeat the rumblings of even the hungriest minotaur. The smothered chicken arrives at tables backstroking in a velvety bath of cream sauce dotted with islands of bacon and swiss cheese, and a specialty salisbury sauce cascades over a house-made ground beef patty. Freshly made desserts leave dining duos humming a sweet tune, capping off edible outings with slices of pecan pie, fruit pie, and cheesecake. Though not included with the dinner for two, guests can imbibe selections of wine to complement culinary outings in a cheery yellow dining room festooned with an array of flowers and plants, which are often willing to split desserts.