Newspapers may be dead, but parodying the dearly departed is just as lively as an electrically charged flood plane filled with gamboling mongeese. With today's Groupon, $20 gets you $40 worth of home and work goods from The Onion Store. Immortalize classic lines and stock up on America's finest news source's wide selection of totes, tees, and quirky calendars. You don't have to use the entire value of your Groupon at once, so you can maintain a balance and apply it toward multiple or future orders.
Browse The Onion's selection of women's and men's tees and hoodies; donning a witty slogan such as "Kitten thinks of nothing but murder" can help you gauge your sense of humor's compatibility with friends, coworkers, and strangers. Or chuckle over your favorite headline every day with a framed desk-ready print. Office-shackled drones can pump up a cubicle with an "I Wish I Were Dead" or an "I Hate Whatever Today Is" mug ($7.99). You'll also find decoy gift boxes, barware, and other rhetorical wonders.
Traditional gifty goods lack the snark and sass of an Onion-approved creation. For close friends or clever eccentrics, angel- and heart-embellished throw pillows stuffed with baked Alaska won't suffice. Surprise friends, express yourself without speaking, or preserve your favorite headlines with this Groupon. Your Groupon cannot be applied toward shipping costs.
You must wait 48 hours after you purchase your Groupon to redeem it online. Shipping is not included.